In the driver's seat

For some time I've been convinced that one of the keys to a happy marriage is simply knowing what to do together, and what not to do together. For us, this means that we should be sure to carve out lots of time for great discussions, keep each other posted our respective mathematical and musical pursuits, and cook together. It also means that we should never go grocery shopping together, as we have been known to argue ferociously over the various brands of peanut butter. Above all, I should never, ever drive when Andy is in the car.

Driving has never been a tremendous strength of mine, since I haven't done a whole lot of it. But as long as I stick to familiar routes, I'm reasonably safe and competent... unless Andy is in the car. It will start out with a little shifting error. Andy will comment that I stayed in first a little too long. I'll get flustered, and immediately shift into fourth. Things snowball from there, and as we argue, I miss our turn. By the time we finally reach our destination, we are quite at each other's throats.

Yes, having Nener drive is a bad thing to do together.

But it really is quite hampering to have only one of us comfortable navigating the LA freeway system. Even more, Andy pointed out, it was hampering to always have him in the driver's seat, metaphorically speaking. Andy's a take-charge sort or person by nature, and I'm more laid back. If there's a decision to be made, and nobody seems to be making it, Andy will quickly step in and fill the void. I, on the other hand, am incapable of making any decision whatsoever without first ascertaining that I couldn't possibly be stepping on the toes of anyone's imaginary monkey. Which generally means that Andy ends up running the family since nobody else is, while I dutifully stay out of the way, anxious lest I disturb his inscrutible master plan.

So we decided that whenever we get in the car together, I should get in the driver's seat by default... and Andy is not allowed to make any comments. Easier said than done. Old habits die hard. Transmissions, on the other hand, die quickly, so we modified the rules to allow for one shifting comment per trip. That one comment is generally used up within a block or two, and the rest of the trip is spent in playful banter as Andy struggles valiantly to keep quiet.

One of Andy's students, upon amusedly observing our interactions while riding with us the other day, commented how nice it would be if his parents could get along as we did.

We've come a long way, baby.

So... wanna go shopping for peanut butter tonight?

Or not.