Love and Logic

Earlier this week, my in-laws sent us some fabulous childrearing resources:

Helicopters, Drill Sergeants, and Consultants: Parenting Styles and the Messages They Send

Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood: Practical Parenting from Birth to Six Years

Excellent, excellent, excellent.

His principles really boil down to personal responsibility. Right from the start, we must teach our children to own their decisions and think wisely. This means that whatever wrong things they do must make trouble for themselves--not for anyone else. Since anger makes for a really bad learning environment, everything needs to be very calm, loving and empathetic. But whatever they do, they're going to have to live with the consequences.

So when Isaiah starts scaling the kitchen cupboards, uh-oh, it's such a bummer. Can't have that, so it looks like he'll just have to go hang out by himself in his room for a while.

A whiny older child sure drains mom's energy, so he'll have to make up for it by vaccuming.

Anyone who won't behave at the grocery store will obviously have to stay home next time... and will be responsible for paying for the babysitting, either through chores or giving up some of their toys.

And that poor, poor kid who flipped the bird for the class photo. He had to completely arrange the retake, setting up the risers, unloading the photographer's equipment, and paying for the replacement prints for all the parents.

With these principles, you are in complete control of your parenting as you teach your children to be in control of their behavior. Works a whole lot better than utterly losing control of the situation as you struggle to control your children's behavior.

Things have been much calmer around here for the past few days.