The front stairs.

I was thinking surprise, not shock.

She assured me that it was nothing scandalous, just cutesie little hawaiian-themed boy-shorts.

That wasn't what I was worried about.

I didn't care if it was granny-briefs or bunny-tail thongs... a garland of underpants on the front steps was going a little too far.

I wanted to surprise the bride, not the neighbors.

I told her maybe putting the garland out by the pool would be a better idea. She was bewildered at my prudishness--after all, they were just cutesie little hawaiian-themed boy-shorts--but agreed to try hanging them along the back fence.

When the time rolled around for the party, we got onto the wrong freeway. Thanks to cell phones, we eventually found our way to Thousand Oaks... about 5 seconds after the guest of honor arrived.

Apparently she was surprised.

Very surprised.

But neither horrified nor humiliated... despite the fact that the underpants were hung according to original plan after all.

Along the bannister of the gracefully sweeping spiral staircase.

You know...

the front stairs.

Afterwards, I complimented Mrs. Harrington on the fun and creative decor. We had a good laugh when I explained my fears to her.

"Oh... I wish I'd thought of that!"

I'm glad she didn't.

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