Bought by a shopping cart

When we lived in La Mirada, I would go out of my way to shop at Stater Bros. whenever I could. This was partly because they tended to have better produce, better meat, and better prices than Vons, partly because they have delightfully friendly employees, and partly because they don’t have any club cards. Call me paranoid, but my good dispensationalist upbringing has taught me to be quite wary of folks who insist upon collecting all sorts of personal information before they will sell you vegetables at a fair price.

But mostly I liked Stater Bros. because of their toddler-friendly shopping carts. Those little cars in front—with two steering wheels!—turn shopping with two toddlers and an infant from an utter nightmare to a mere unpleasant experience.

So when we moved to Anaheim, I was elated to see a Stater Bros. right on State College.

Alas, it was not the La Mirada Stater Bros. I knew that it wouldn’t be Juan stocking the vegetables, but I thought for sure that they would have the same quality of groceries, the same excellent selection, and the same low prices. Nope, nope, and nope. Worst of all, they didn’t sell cherry turnovers or poppy-seed bagels, and they didn’t have the spiffy carts.

In fact, their carts were utterly absurd, little more than trays on wheels.

The nearest Vons, on the other hand, is gorgeous, with lovely decor, a full-service meat department, spectacular bakery, in-store florist, and even a Starbucks. The produce is fresh, the variety dazzling.

And the carts! Oh the carts! Not only do they have a little two passenger car in front, but there is also room to strap in two—two!—misbehaving children up facing mom.

So now the tables are turned. I pass right by the Stater Bros. around the corner, and drive all the way out to Vons.

And hope that they don’t make me tattoo any barcodes to my forehead.