We’ll be eating Italian for the next few weeks. Not Italian-Italian—more like New York-Italian... Wuggyville-style. Spaghetti and pizza. Lots of spaghetti because spaghetti is easy, and life is not. Andy’s plate was full to begin with, so to speak—add in classroom observation, and we’re eating a lot of spaghetti.

The pizza is because I make terrible pizza.

One night last week we got carry-out from Pizza Hut. It was a sublime supreme pizza, covered in sausages and peppers and mushrooms and pepperoni. All atop a perfectly brilliant crust. This was the first really good pizza we’d had in a long time. Since losing Anna Mia’s, we’d been frequenting Little Caesars. Quick and cheap and relatively nutritious, those pizzas are well worth $5. They’re everything you could possibly ask for in a $5 pizza. But nothing to write home about, and certainly nothing to make me feel insecure about my cooking.

I’m entirely okay with the fact that an experienced Italian grandmother can prepare a fabulous meal that’s far beyond my skills. She’s got thirty-some years on me. She’s made a career out of, for crying out loud! But when the teenaged boys working at Pizza Hut can do something I can’t...

We’ll be having pizza three nights a week until I get this crust thing down.


Matthew said...

Lemme know if you can figure out a decent recipe for a pizza crust. I never did find one I was happy with.

One secret I'm thinking Pizza Hut has to their crusts, which I agree are quite good, is enough oil to grease up all the industrial machinery of China for a week. But that's just a guess.

Elena said...

I found a copycat recipe online, which revealed their secret ingredient. Monosodium glucomate.

Don't you just love a good migraine?

Matthew said...

Dude. My brain hurts.

*WARNING* Inanity follows.
There once was a group of college students taking an environmental engineering class. They went out into some local swamps to find that frog populations were dwindling. It seemed that each time the male frogs attempted to fertilize the females' eggs, they would slip off the females backs, and so the eggs would never hatch! After some thought, one student had an answer. He marched back to the lab and began mixing chemicals, muttering to himself over and over again, "No... Just one salt molecule. Just one!..." After a few days, he emerged with a vial in hand and returned to the swamp. He poured the contents of the vial into the water and waited. Sure enough. one of the frogs hopped up on another's back, but this time it stayed! The class cheered, and the professor asked him, "What was that?" With a smug smile, the student responded, "They just needed a mono-sodium glue to mate."

Feel free to smack me later.