Bathtime Arithmetic

I wasn't planning on bathing the kids today, but I had the unfortunate bright idea of fixing Tembo's hair while she was distracted by her breakfast. It didn't prevent her from protesting the gloop with which I tried to tame her unruly curls, but it did provide her with some gloop of her own. The moment I pronounced her hair suitably beautiful, she immediately followed up with an egg yolk.

So it was bathtime. And well... if you're gonna bathe one, you might as well bathe them all.

So much more efficient that way... I think.

Nobody was excited about the idea of a bath, and nobody wanted to go first. So I rounded everybody up in the bathroom, and told them that they couldn't leave until they'd had a bath.

I thought maybe this would motivate them to hop right in and get it over with. I was forgetting that the bathroom is the absolute funnest room in the whole house, being the room with the highest mischief density.

I do hope that they still retain their love of toilet scrubbing, once they're old enough to learn more... sanitary... techniques. Yes, I very much hope that they retain that love of toilet scrubbing, not, say that love of TP-ing...

When it was all said and done, though, I had three beautifully clean wuggies. Three beautifully clean naked wuggies.

I put a diaper on one of them, and stood back to assess the situation. One wuggy in a diaper, and two naked wuggies.

I put a diaper on another one, and once again, stood back to assess. One wuggy in a diaper, and two naked wuggies.

I put the diaper back on the first wuggy, and put a pair of shorts on top of it. One wuggy in a diaper and shorts, two naked wuggies.

I put a diaper on a wuggy, following up with a pair of bloomers. One wuggy in a diaper and bloomers, one naked wuggy, and one wuggy wearing shorts... but no diaper.

I escorted Houdini back to the bathroom, praised him profusely for using the toilet, replaced his diaper and shorts, and exhorted him sternly not to remove his diaper again, but simply to tell me when he needed to use the potty. We trooped back out to the living room. One wuggy in diaper and shorts, one wuggy in a diaper and bloomers, and one naked wuggy.

Victory was close at hand! I put a diaper on the last remaining wuggy. One wuggy in a diaper, one wuggy wearing shorts and a diaper... and one naked wuggy.

Onesies are a mom's best friend, and I quickly found a different outfit for the naked wuggy--one less easily removed. She was not happy about this, and so it took quite a while to wrangle her into it. But when it was all said and done, I was safe. They might not all be dressed yet, but at least they were all wearing diapers. No disasters ahead.

One wuggy in an adorable one-piece outfit, one wuggy in diaper and shorts, one wuggy in a diaper. Busily microwaving a 3-inch red Camaro.

Our microwave seems to have been designed for ease of use by the illiterate, with pre-programmed buttons with pictures of different foods on them. The button with a picture of a steaming cup will set it for long enough to boil a cup of tea, the button with a plate of food is just right for reheating leftovers, etc.

Thankfully, I caught them just moments after they'd pressed the popcorn button.

"Gonna pop it!"

Gonna pop it, indeed.

One diapered wuggy, one wuggy in a diaper and shorts, one wuggy in a diaper and an adorable one-piece outfit...

...and one wiped out Mama.


Emily said...

Oh, Elena, you wrote that so well! Gabe and I were in giggling fits. Jonathan has just discovered that he can, indeed, take off his diaper. We've rather sternly discouraged that idea, and so far he hasn't tried very often. :)

Sarah Marie said...

teehee! Love this post! I used to babysit for an 18 month old girl who could remove her diaper in a split second if you turned your back... and have her pants still on, with the diaper at the bottom of one pant leg. And wetness everywhere. Eww!

MirCat said...

oh my! what a predicament...this post is SO "Mommy Seuss"...absolutely hilarious! You're so fun to read, Elena--thanks for blogging!