Home

*Yawn*

It was an exhausting trip, but good, and I'm glad I went.

Painful as this time is, somehow I've come back more invigorated than drained. It has been such a blessing to see the way their church has gathered around them, and is holding them up through this ordeal. I've never seen a church that size with such a close-knit community. The size of the congregation didn't prevent them from having an intimate circle around them, but rather provided ever widening circles underneath, all supporting one another. There was very little for us to do, besides be with Uncle Jim and the kids, sharing memories, crying and laughing together. Every few hours more food would quietly appear on the table, and the fridge would fill with more drinks. The bathrooms were cleaned, the carpet vacuumed, the lawn mowed... it was a beautiful thing to see the Body of Christ in action, and it was a great privilege to be a part of it.

Aunt Cindy lived her life in such a way as to make mourning her a thing of beauty. All the memories and sharing... by the end, I felt like surely I must have just attended a really superb seminar on godly womanhood. Only better. Thinking about her life was a good thing.

The memorial service was deeply painful. This is not how it's supposed to be. Death itself is not how it's supposed to be, but even in a world of death, this isn't when it's supposed to happen. Gone, right in the middle of everything, and her absence forms a stark and sharply defined silhouette.

In the midst of it all, though, the hope of the resurrection was never far behind. Aunt Cindy had selected the music before she died, and we sang and we sang and we sang. We stared tragedy straight in the face and sang in triumph

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
‘Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt of life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life’s first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
‘til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand

Question of the Day

Er... night, that is.

Does the lap baby count as my one "personal item"?

Bonus question:

Why did I think that getting the 7am flight as opposed to the 6pm would let me sleep tonight?

No, this just gives me time to pack stuff like... oh... say, clothes. And other things I might want.

Bliss is...

...having a back that doesn't hurt.


Aaah.

Hiatus

Tomorrow morning, Tembo and I are flying out for Aunt Cindy's memorial service.

You never can tell, but I'm not planning on any blogging between now and our return on Wednesday.

So please don't think I've fallen off the blogosphere, and do check back after Wednesday.

And if you have room in your prayers, I'm sure my Uncle Jim could use them, as could my cousins Andrew, Timothy, Christopher, Gwendolyn, and Ellen.

Cindy leaves quite a gaping hole.

On a much lighter note, I could use prayer too... that's a couple of really long flights with a toddler...

Grief

She asked if I was okay.

It's one of those questions that just has no answer, because if I was, it wouldn't be okay.

And yet my grief is so tiny in comparison. I don't have to face the day-to-day chasm of her absence... not like that. It puts everything into perspective, and the very pain I feel forces me to confess that I am very okay indeed, and I have no answers for the not-okay-ness of it all.

She was so beautiful... is so beautiful. In all our flip-floppy musings about where to settle down, Andy was drawn to Pennsylvania because Pennsylvania is vibrant and centered and full of life and beautiful. I was drawn to Pennsylvania because of her. Because that is how she is. Andy wanted to come to Pennsylvania because he wants to live somewhere beautiful, I wanted to come to Pennsylvania because I wanted to learn to become beautiful like her.

Somewhere inside I knew it was futile, but I kept on hoping, because I didn't know what else to do.

And now it is beyond hoping. I will meet her again, somewhere more beautiful than Pennsylvania, more beautiful even than she is.

Out of whack

Yesterday, everything was so good. So free and easy.

We went to Home Depot, and then to the train station to watch the trains go by. We didn't get back until 6:30, but the housework was all very much under control, so even though we had a late supper, everything was peaceful and orderly and not a bit rushed.

I pulled out my flute and improvised while Andy got the kids into jammies, and then we pulled out the keyboard and let the wuggies play along.

Such good family time, time being just exactly the family we want to be.

And then... something snapped.

I heard a little click, and my shoulder erupted in pain. It felt like I should be able to twist a little bit, my back would pop, and I'd be okay... but no. Still there. By now my whole right side is feeling limp and achy, everything hurts.

I have an appointment with a chiropractor this afternoon, and I'm praying he can take care of it.

Bluch.

Works for Me Wednesday: Sorting out my laundry system

Last week, we had an out-of-control laundry situation.

One week of spring cleaning later, and we have a big, but controlled laundry situation. Which, really, is the best you can hope for when you have three in diapers, I think.

Part of the reason things are so much better now is because I washed, dried, folded, and put away approximately three-hundred-mazillion-forty-eight loads.

But that's only part of it.

The main reason things are under control now, and the only reason I was able to that much laundry, is our new laundry hamper.

I'm not sure how wholeheartedly I can recommend the particular product. It's kinda flimsy. Serviceable, but not terribly stable. And the mesh separating out the compartments won't hold out if you happen to overfill one of them. But the concept is absolutely wonderful, and turns laundry into something that makes sense.

The whole idea of a tripartate laundry hamper is, of course, to divide the laundry according to color, but I've got my own system right now. We don't happen to have any new red items at the moment, so I haven't been worried about colors. Instead, I'm dividing up my laundry according to "needs extra attention" and "just throw it in." It's amazingly easy to do a load of wash that you don't have to even think about, and it's very energizing. And a load consisting solely of stained items actually isn't that bad, either. Instead of feeling despair at how many items need pre-treating, I feel a great sense of accomplishment as I push through all the "hard laundry."

My third category won't be necessary once things are more under control, but right now, I really do need a "don't bother washing it until you're through with the stuff we actually wear" category. The too-small clothes to give away really do need to get washed... someday. But it's much lower on the priority list. Besides, it's just a bad situation when those clothes that you only wear because there's nothing else clean wind up on the top of the laundry pile, and end up being the only thing clean once again.

The other wonderful thing about our new hamper is the lid and the overhead bar. This means that I can fold everything right there at the dryer, pile it up on the lid, hang stuff from the bar, and wheel the whole thing right into the various bedrooms. It's all right there, and I'm not tempted to procrastinate on the whole putting-it-away bit.

So that's how I'm getting the laundry done.

It works for me!

Meaningful Choices

Sometimes I forget just how much easier choices can make things for everybody.

Tembo loves brushing her teeth, for instance. Which is wonderful, but there does come a time when the toothbrush needs to go back into the cabinet. Taking the toothbrush away results in a terrible tantrum. Holding out a hand, or even better, a hat, and asking her to put the toothbrush in it... well that is just an utterly delightful game, and the command is met with sweet compliance and joy.

Of course, she really does have to learn to obey us, just because we said so... but there are enough opportunities for that sort of thing as it is. I'm far more interested in Aristotelian virtue than Abelardian virtue. I want to make it as easy as possible for her to get in the habit of joyous obedience. Much practice in a struggle toward painful obedience doesn't seem terribly helpful, and anyway, we aren't in danger of running of those excercises. There's no way to make it fun to stay inside the yard, but she has to learn to do it anyway. She doesn't know why it's important, but we do, and she has to learn to trust our judgment. Trust and and obey.

Part of learning to trust us, though, is being actively involved in the logic of our commands whenever possible, actively experiencing our judgments as directed toward her benefit and empowerment. When we make it easy for her to obey, she obeys us better... not just in the instances where we make it easy, but also in the instances where it's unavoidably hard.

The other day at lunch, Isaiah started in on a doozy of a tantrum as I pulled down a loaf of bread and began making sandwiches.

"Cer-yal! Cer-yal! No sammich! I wan CER-YAL!"

But then I asked him if he wanted a peanut butter sandwich or a cheese sandwich.

He quieted instantly. "Cheese sanwich."

I pulled out the block of cheddar.

"No, cream cheese!"

Well, okay. Why not.

"Do you want jelly on your sandwich?"

"No jelly. Just cream cheese."

"Would you like me to cut it, or not cut it?"

"Cut it!"

"Should I cut it into squares or triangles?"

"Triangles!"

"Should I cut it into two pieces or four pieces?"

"Four! Four triangles!"

By this point he was beaming as only Isaiah can beam, and the whole room was filled with the piercing brilliance of young joy.

They just desperately want to be a part of things, that's all.

The other day, Andy was mourning the loss of his teen years. If only he could go back and be ten years old again... the things he could have done to prepare himself for greatness, if he had caught a vision of purpose and virtue then, before it was too late, before the opportunities were gone.

Is there any hope for our children and the children that we teach? Or is that sort of vision impossible apart from age? Are teenagers just inherently lazy?

The answer lies, I think it what ten-year-old Andy actually did with his time. Rather than pouring himself into diligent study and relationships with wise mentors, young Andy spent all his time playing Hero's Quest, building up a virtual character well prepared to achieve greatness.
Could he have learned to see himself as the young hero, and poured that energy into real-life growth? Or was that time not as wasted as it seems? Did the silly video games actually provide him with the narrative structure to see meaning and purpose in his own life now?

I don't know.

But in the mean time, we will involve our children in the small but truly significant bits of life, like setting the table and folding the clean rags and throwing away their diapers and putting away the train tracks and pushing the start button on the dishwasher, and we'll teach them to delight in their important contributions to our family life. We're looking forward to the day when balancing the checkbook and paying the taxes and making the most of our grocery budget will be exciting math projects for the kids.

And we'll tell Tembo to place the toothbrush in our open hands, and delight with her in her free will and volition, as she chooses to obey.

I'm looking forward to sitting down with a cup of coffee in our brand new study after the kids are in bed, and figuring this one out with Andy.

It's what nerds do on dates.

Well, broke nerds, anyway.

=)

He is risen!

The Lord is risen indeed!

Spring Cleaning

Jessica talks about spring cleaning during Holy Week here, how it makes a fitting culmination to lent and a good preparation for Easter.

Good thoughts, as always--if you don't read her blog, you should--and they ran parallel to my own thoughts on the topic. As we drove The Container Store on Thursday, I mused about how I wished we had time to do a Seder. Andy rightly pointed out that getting organized actually has deep spiritual implications, and will do us a lot more good, just by way of clearing out the space and time to focus on important things throughout the year to come.

Maybe next year.

And so my mind flitted through delightful images of teaching the wuggies about God's faithfulness through Israel's long journeys, culminating in Christ. Grimacing at the horseradish, hiding the afikomen, and, of course, the preparatory scurry about the house, clearing out the leaven.

Suddenly, I realized that was exactly what we were doing--getting rid of the leaven. The Festival of Unleavened Bread began with a call to simplicity. Don't even wait for the bread to rise!

And so it is that we are going through our home, clearing out everything that might slow us down in our journey to the Promised Land.

An important element of our spring cleaning is also going to be putting up pictures of Jesus. I'm finding that I desperately need visual reminders of who he is. I can make words so complicated, parsing and analyzing and dissecting. There's a place for that--a very important place, indeed!--but sometimes I can get a little out of focus.

I've been spending a lot of time in the Sermon on the Mount lately, and the familiar words take on new meaning as I picture his face. Spoken from a faceless authority, they are harsh and impossible demands. Spoken from the lips of my redeemer, they become a call to freedom and gracefulness. An easy yoke and a light burden, not the unattainable goal, but the way.

I've always wondered why he warned us against the leaven of the Pharisees, but it makes sense now. It's so easy to take good things, and make them so complicated that they utterly obscure the point, and hold us back from following Jesus freely.

Pictures force me to meditate on Jesus as a whole, his deeds in light of his words, and his words in light of his deeds.

That wholeness cuts right through everything, and clears a path to holiness.

Good Friday

I want to mourn, but I cannot. My soul is too overcome with the gladness of who you are. Your face dispels all bitterness.

Maundy Thursday

It wasn't cold.

Did Holy Week come earlier last year, when spring was still winter?

The foot washing was symbolic and moving. Moving because, as Father David pointed out, it wasn't symbolic. Not at the beginning. Just necessary and a little bit gross and ever so practical.

Like diaper changing.

"Wash my hands and my head as well!"

Like Peter, I swing from extreme to extreme with fervor and intensity. Hold me, Jesus, to the right. Center me.

"My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?"

I cannot stop thinking perfect the harmonies are, how well suited to the text and how exquisitely realized. Designed to draw me to the text, yet my soul balks at the hard words.

"...Thou didst answer. But I am a worm and not a man..."

Inwardly, I praise the discretion of the pageantry. The choir at the back, the dimming of the lights, the stripping of the altar.... still and quiet and self-forgetful. And yet I cannot stop analyzing--that would be to listen.

"My betrayer approaches."

I find myself clutching at my sweater, shivering after all.

It is very cold.

WFMW Car Edition: Saving on Gas

Do you ever have those weird moments where you're carrying on two entirely separate trains of thought in the back of your head, and then suddenly you realize that they're exactly the same?

Like how I've been frustrated that I had absolutely nothing to contribute to the Car Edition of Works For Me Wednesday, even as I was brewing a post on gas-saving tips. Yeah.

Anyway, did you all know that those big numbers on the gas station signs... those big numbers that keep getting bigger and bigger... well, it turns out that they aren't gas prices after all. Nope. That's the price of gas PLUS tax PLUS credit card fees. The tax part is inevitable, of course, but some places will actually knock off 8-10 cents a gallon off their posted price if you pay in cash. I know that Arco and Valero do this--I'm not sure about any other stations.

The other way we save on gas is by buying premium, ironically enough. We get so much better gas mileage with the expensive stuff, that we actually end up paying slightly less per mile. We don't save much on gas, and but we don't lose anything either, and our engine is much, much happier. Which translates into less time and money spent at the mechanics.

It may or may not turn out to be worthwhile for your particular car, but it works for us!

Joke's on us

Yesterday afternoon, as I was paying for my groceries at the farmer's market, I paused, trying to remember what date to put on my check. I'm always having to ask the cashier, but ever since they put that 2 doz. per family limit on the eggs, I've been coming 'round an awful lot, so I figured that the question was probably getting pretty old. After a few facial contortions, I remembered that March had just ended... "Oh! It's..."

"No," she smiled, "that was yesterday. Today's the second."

Bummer. I'd missed it again.

On the way home, however, I realized that we'd been the recipient of a fantastically delightful (not to mention disorienting!) joke.

Saturday night, Justy watched the kids, and Andy and I went out for a night of superb amateur theatre. We had a great time, but Shakespeare didn't write short plays, and when you factor in driving the babysitter home and then discussing the interpretation of Malvolio over a bowl of ice cream.... we didn't exactly get to bed early.

Which was problematic, because we really, really needed to get to church on time.

Of course, it's always a good idea to get to church on time, and it's always just a little bit out of reach--though we've been doing much better, lately.

But this was Palm Sunday. And Palm Sunday only comes around once a year, and the extra-special part is at the very beginning. And Palm Sunday when you're three? That only comes around once, period. We had to get those wuggies to church on time.

Moreover, I had to rehearse for the Easter service. I had to be at church an hour early. An hour and a half, if I didn't want to be sight-reading.

We crashed into bed Saturday night without even setting our alarms, and in the morning I woke in a panic, desperate to know what time it was. I glanced up at the clock, but the clock was gone. That's right, the boys knocked it over. Shoot.

I booted up the computer.


7:13

Upon seeing that I had an hour in which to get everyone ready for church, I promptly fell back asleep for "just a few minutes more."

But amazingly enough, this time it really was just a few minutes more, and after that, I really was ready to face the day.

Clothes. Must find clothes for everybody. I tiptoed into the boys' room, and glanced into their drawers.

Empty.

I had done a load of laundry every single day, some days two, and yet the laundry pile stands as massive ever, and the twins had nothing to wear to church. Nothing. I seriously do not get it.

I quickly picked a few key items out of Mount Shirt-and-vest, told the washing machine to forget about the second rinse, and started a load.

8:00

I threw on a dress, ran a comb through my hair, started the coffee pot, and began frying eggs as quickly as I could. (I didn't break a single one, either. Am I good, or am I good?)

8:35

I dressed Tembo, fixed her hair, hoped that she wouldn't smear herself with egg yolk, and dashed out the door, leaving Andy to do the rest.

When I got to church I had to try several doors before I found one that was unlocked. The choir room was utterly deserted. Were they in the sanctuary?

No, the early mass had already started.

I looked for a clock.

It said 7:55--I guess every building has to have at least one forgotten clock leftover from the time change. That meant that it must be 8:55, and I was 10 minutes late. JAC had said it would just be a quick run-through... but how was it that they were completely gone so soon?

One of the ladies setting up in the kitchen asked what I was looking for, and I told her I was trying to find JAC and the musicians.

"Oh, they usually come around 8:30."

It took me a few minutes to figure out if she was speaking of 8:30 as in the past,
or yet to come, but it slowly dawned on me that the clock was right after all.

Daylight savings came two weeks earlier that our computer expected, and we'd reset it manually. Now the computer had automatically "sprung forward" all over again... and I had time! Wonderful, gloriously unexpected time!

Time to find my part, and run through it. Time to warm up, and remember how to coax a beautiful sound out of my flute. Time to improvise freely and playfully and meditatively and worshipfully. Time, flute in hand, to prepare my soul for the eucharist.

Wonderful, wonderful gift!

Sometime later, Andy pulled up with the van full of wuggies, discouraged that the laundry had caused them to be 45 minutes late.

Or 15 minutes early, as the case may be.

Quite the April fools. Quite the April fools.

Deep Fried Hummus

Growing up, my best friends mom was an incredible cook. Her lumpia and adobo were amazing treats, but actually spaghetti and meat ball nights were nearly as memorable. Her vegetarian "meat"balls were way better than any actual meatballs I've ever tasted.

I think it might have been falafel?

In any case, my falafel never turns out quite like that.

Come to think of it, my falafel just doesn't turn out at all.

I thought maybe it would improve matters if I slightly cooked the chickpeas, instead of merely soaking them overnight.

And then I thought maybe if I added more liquid, my blender wouldn't make such a dreadful racket.

My blender gladly pureed the whole thing in matter of seconds...

And I had a lovely batch of... hummus.

I should have just quit while I was ahead, and planned on making some pita chips tomorrow. But I'm stubborn, and I tried to go ahead with the original falafel plan.

Anyway, all this to say, if you happened to be wondering whether or not it's possible to deep-fry hummus...

...t isn't.

Vegetarian thoughts

It's been a while since I've posted. =(

Partly because I've been just too busy grocery shopping, washing dishes and reading lots of really delightful books to my wuggies.

And also, partly because my creative energies have been directed elsewhere. I've been setting a lot of Christina Rossetti's poetry to music lately. I see so much of myself in her. In her early poems I see who I was, in her middle poems I see who I am, and in her later poems I see who I would like to become. So we work well together, so to speak.

I've also been working on a board book rendition of Genesis 1. Hebrew poetry just seems very well suited to toddlers. The rhythms of the creation account are rather reminiscent of Brown Bear, Brown Bear, actually.

So I've been spending a lot of time just soaking in Genesis I. That and trying to come up with a rhyme about the gathering of the waters.

Anyway, reading the creation account has got me thinking about the purpose and role of man, and that has got me thinking vegetarian thoughts. I'd always been under the impression that God pronounced everything he had made "good"---except for mankind, who he pronounced to be "very good."

Actually God pronounced the whole of creation to be very good, once man was there to cultivate it. The distinction between "good" and "very good" in this case doesn't imply that the rest of creation was created for our good, so much as that we were created for the good of the rest of creation.

So I've been thinking vegetarian thoughts. Not that eating meat is wrong... but eating fruit is just purely and wholly good, and anything else is a little bit bittersweet. We live in a fallen world, and in this fallen world, there is a place for cultivating and caring for animals for the purpose of killing them and eating them.

Yet I have a hard time reconciling current meat industry practices with the creation mandates. I don't think that was exactly what God meant when He commanded us to rule over all the creatures. At least I hope not, because He created us to be in His image.

Of course, for a price, you can buy meat from supposedly well-treated animals. I'm not sure how much of that is true, and how much of it's a ruse---I have heard that the free-range chicken thing is something of a joke. But whatever the case, we certainly cannot afford it.

The fact is, the only way we can afford to eat as much meat as we do is through the inhumane treatment of animals.

On the other hand, we are well supplied with lots and lots of wonderful and affordable plant foods that can meet all our nutritional needs. Foods that are clearly very much in keeping with man's role in the world.

So I've been experimenting around with vegetarian meals. Last night we had pinto beans boiled in chicken broth (like I said, I'm not entirely opposed to meat--I'd just like to eat less of it!) with a chopped leek, a chopped onion, a full bulb of whole garlic cloves, a whole dried New Mexico chili, a handful of peppercorns, a dash of salt, and a generous blop of olive oil. I served it on brown rice, topped with grated romano cheese. The resulting color scheme didn't look terribly appetizing, but the flavors were sublime.

At least, Andy and I enjoyed the meal. The wuggies wouldn't touch it.

Sigh.

I'm afraid the only vegetarian thoughts they're interested in thinking are the ones that involve peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

Works-for-me-Wednesday: Hundreds of Cooking Mentors

There are a lot of fabulous recipes floating around the internet.

There are also a lot of not-so-fabulous recipes floating around the internet, and sometimes it's hard to know the difference.

That's why I love recipezaar.com.

Thousands of recipes, all collected in one place. Anything you'd like to make, there's probably at least a dozen different versions right there.

Some of the recipes are good, some aren't... but with recipezaar you don't have to actually subject your family to them all in order to find out which are which. Anyone can rate the recipes, and add commentary on what did and didn't work, what changes they made, etc. So whenever I search for a recipe, I just sort my results by rating. If 100 people have thought this was a five star recipe... well, it's probably a pretty good risk.

But even if one stand-out recipe has 100 five star ratings, I usually read the first few recipes... AND the comments. Generally speaking, the folks who bother writing reviews are really good cooks, and I learn a lot from them. I can then take the best elements of each recipe, combined with the best alterations from reviewers, and try out a brand new recipe pretty confident of success.

And that's the best part. It's a great recipe resource, but really, you can get recipes anywhere. But all the reviews and comments have given me the skills I need to really make the most out of a recipe.

Reaping the benefits of everybody else's trial and error? Oh yes, it works for me!

Wow!

Well, our neighborhood CVS/Pharmacy (what's up with the "/" anyway?) doesn't have an Albertsons after all. What it does have is amazing prices.

Every other item is tagged with a special "WOW!" tag, highlighting a particularly daring and astonishing sale price.

Like store brand baby wipes for $3.99.

And that truly is amazing, because at Target, they would cost $1.78.

The Dreyers ice cream for $5.99 is a little less impressive--it can be pretty expensive at other stores, too. But I will give them some credit, because that really is on the upper limit of the price range. And right now it's going for $3 at Gigante.

I can't help but admire the sheer audacity of their strategy.

And when I run out of diapers in the middle of the night, I can't help but shop there.

Dunkables

Oreos and milk.

Donuts and coffee.

Herb flavored triscuits and cranberry juice.

(And to think that they turn their noses up at strange foods such as couscous...)

Bathtime Arithmetic

I wasn't planning on bathing the kids today, but I had the unfortunate bright idea of fixing Tembo's hair while she was distracted by her breakfast. It didn't prevent her from protesting the gloop with which I tried to tame her unruly curls, but it did provide her with some gloop of her own. The moment I pronounced her hair suitably beautiful, she immediately followed up with an egg yolk.

So it was bathtime. And well... if you're gonna bathe one, you might as well bathe them all.

So much more efficient that way... I think.

Nobody was excited about the idea of a bath, and nobody wanted to go first. So I rounded everybody up in the bathroom, and told them that they couldn't leave until they'd had a bath.

I thought maybe this would motivate them to hop right in and get it over with. I was forgetting that the bathroom is the absolute funnest room in the whole house, being the room with the highest mischief density.

I do hope that they still retain their love of toilet scrubbing, once they're old enough to learn more... sanitary... techniques. Yes, I very much hope that they retain that love of toilet scrubbing, not, say that love of TP-ing...

When it was all said and done, though, I had three beautifully clean wuggies. Three beautifully clean naked wuggies.

I put a diaper on one of them, and stood back to assess the situation. One wuggy in a diaper, and two naked wuggies.

I put a diaper on another one, and once again, stood back to assess. One wuggy in a diaper, and two naked wuggies.

I put the diaper back on the first wuggy, and put a pair of shorts on top of it. One wuggy in a diaper and shorts, two naked wuggies.

I put a diaper on a wuggy, following up with a pair of bloomers. One wuggy in a diaper and bloomers, one naked wuggy, and one wuggy wearing shorts... but no diaper.

I escorted Houdini back to the bathroom, praised him profusely for using the toilet, replaced his diaper and shorts, and exhorted him sternly not to remove his diaper again, but simply to tell me when he needed to use the potty. We trooped back out to the living room. One wuggy in diaper and shorts, one wuggy in a diaper and bloomers, and one naked wuggy.

Victory was close at hand! I put a diaper on the last remaining wuggy. One wuggy in a diaper, one wuggy wearing shorts and a diaper... and one naked wuggy.

Onesies are a mom's best friend, and I quickly found a different outfit for the naked wuggy--one less easily removed. She was not happy about this, and so it took quite a while to wrangle her into it. But when it was all said and done, I was safe. They might not all be dressed yet, but at least they were all wearing diapers. No disasters ahead.

One wuggy in an adorable one-piece outfit, one wuggy in diaper and shorts, one wuggy in a diaper. Busily microwaving a 3-inch red Camaro.

Our microwave seems to have been designed for ease of use by the illiterate, with pre-programmed buttons with pictures of different foods on them. The button with a picture of a steaming cup will set it for long enough to boil a cup of tea, the button with a plate of food is just right for reheating leftovers, etc.

Thankfully, I caught them just moments after they'd pressed the popcorn button.

"Gonna pop it!"

Gonna pop it, indeed.

One diapered wuggy, one wuggy in a diaper and shorts, one wuggy in a diaper and an adorable one-piece outfit...

...and one wiped out Mama.

WFMW: Cranberry Juice

I don't know about you, but we have a really hard time drinking enough water around here.

Or at least we did.

Did you know that at Trader Joes, you can get a 32 oz. jar of pure cranberry juice for 4 bucks?

Not cranberry juice cocktail, which is really mostly sugar water, but real, live cranberry juice--not from concentrate!

Of course nobody wants to drink straight cranberry juice straight, but adding just a little bit to your water makes it scrumptious and refreshing. It's sort of like lemon water, only much, much better. Even the kids love it.

And since we dilute it about 20/1, it really isn't that expensive.

Cheap, yummy, vitamin-filled hydration that doesn't rot the teeth?

Definitely works for me!

See, I told you I didn't understand daylight savings...

I just got the memo that this is daylight savings time. Here I thought it was all about how to conserve our tiny ration of winter sun... turns out it's all about spending our newfound wealth wisely. (Thanks, slowlane!)

I LOVE daylight savings!

I think it should be daylight savings all year long!

And I think I just found a new criteria to look for in a place to settle down.

I want to live at the western extreme of any given time zone.

=)

Welcome to Universal Jet-Lag Time

I don't understand daylight savings. Growing up in Arizona, daylight savings was just that time when all the television and radio programs got shuffled around, when all the out of state live programming moved forward or back inexplicably, and all the local programming moved around to accomodate. It was also why you had to check an almanac before calling out of state relatives, to make sure you knew you weren't calling after bedtime. Daylight savings was also the reason why sometimes, on a day trip, the time would change back and forth, back and forth, without any state borders being involved. The Navajo Nation and the State of Arizona are separate, but overlapping entities, and the Navajo Nation does observe daylight savings... it can get pretty confusing.

But it never really affected me personally until I moved to California.

I don't understand it, and I don't like it one bit.

What daylight, exactly, did we save? Sure, the sun rose at 7am instead of 8, but it also set at 5.

So instead of showering in the dark, we eat our suppers in the dark.

Brilliant.

There is a great joy and delight in getting up before the sun, having some time to prepare for the dawn. There's a sense of milking everything out of the day. The darkness between getting-up-time and sunrise is a wonderfully rich time, quivering with the expectation of light.

The darkness between sunset and going-to-bed-time is not so wonderful. It is bleak and miserable and final. The day is over, and it was short. Now it is time to eat our supper in the fading light, and enjoy our little bit of family time in the dark of night. The state has taxed away the little bit of daylight that was ours to enjoy, to devote it to our preparations for work.

I am angry.

The lack of sunlight has been very hard on me this winter, and frankly, I can't fathom what possible good daylight savings could have done anybody.

And I'm so glad it's all over, but now our schedules are all turned upside-down...

Grump, grump, grump.

...and I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your stove out!

This evening I was preparing eggs for a lovely chef's salad, the water boiled over a bit, spreading the flames on the gas stove.

As I reached over and turned down the gas, Nathan was right beside me, eager to help with the crisis, blowing with all his might.

Good one to have around, that kid.

=)

Identity, or, I wish I could think of a better title for this

I suppose it all started as we drove Justy home from church one evening. With a little bit of help and prompting from Justy, the wuggies told us all about the movie they'd watched during our small group meeting--Curious George! With trains! Can life get any better than this?

And suddenly, I wondered if this might hold the key to the great mystery of our household.

For the past few weeks, Nathan had been wandering about the house singing "Time for Teletubbies! Time for Teletubbies!" and "Tinkywinky!"

This is quite normal behavior for a three year old... assuming he's been watching Teletubbies. But I certainly hadn't been showing them Teletubbies, and I didn't see how anyone else could have, either. It had been nearly six months since Nathan had sprayed down our television set, and we'd never replaced it.

Brilliant discipline opportunity, really. When you disregard Mama's warnings and squirt water on the television set anyway, you will lose all TV privileges... indefinitely. In the weeks that followed, every time he asked for Sesame Street, I could be genuinely sympathetic as I reminded him exactly why it was that the television was dead, and Elmo gone forever. No hard feelings whatsoever, just the dawning realization that maybe listening to Mama was in his best interests after all.

No, Nathan certainly hadn't been watching Teletubbies at our house, and I've been there for all his playdates---none of them involved Teletubbies. I wondered briefly if there was an unorthodox curriculum in the toddler nursury at church, but since I'm on the rotation, I know exactly what they do in there. Inside play time, song time, outside play time, hand washing time, snacks time, more song time, Bible story time, coloring time, indoor play time, and then it's time to go find mommy and daddy. Nope, no "time for Teletubbies" in there.

It was terribly disconcerting. I know everything about his life... right? And yet he'd obviously been exposed to Teletubbies--a LOT of Teletubbies--and I had no idea when or where or how.

So it was a tremendous relief to come up with such a plausible and innocuous solution. Perhaps Justy had been showing them videos at church during our small group.

She hadn't.

But as Andy and I explained our confusion to Justy, Nathan piped up.

"The neighbors. The neighbors watch teevee."

We all laughed. Of course! There little boy next door is the same age as the twins, and he watches a lot of television. With the volume turned way up. I just tune it out, but... well... I guess now I know why the boys spend so much time looking out the window. Maybe they aren't always watching for planes after all...

It was good to know the truth, but even more, it was such a delight to actually learn something from one of the wuggies. Of course they'd talked before, but up until then it was just simple requests, or declarations of the obvious. This was the first time that Nathan had actually provided me with interesting and moderately complex information.

I gasped in wonder. "He's a little person!"

It's the sort of thing I keep discovering over and over, on deeper and deeper levels.

I thought of the maybe-baby as a tiny person when I first saw the two blue lines, and I saw those two little jelly beans (two!) as tiny people... but when the ultrasound first showed recognizable shapes, and heartbeats, it was still a shock. They're little people! And when I watched little Isaiah kick during another ultrasound, and recognized in retrospect that faint sensation as real movement, it was another shock. They're little people.

You'd think with all the prenatal bonding I'd have figured it out, but it was still a shock to discover that they really were people when they were born.

And when they first smiled.

And when they first rolled over.

And when they first crawled.

And when they first climbed up on the piano, took off their diapers, and peed all over the keys.

It's an amazing thing to watch them unfold.

"He's a little person!"

Nathan latched onto the phrase, and repeated, "I'm a person! I'm a person!"

And so it was that we got into a discussion of just exactly what we all are.

Dadders asked them if they were people, or pickles. After much discussion the consensus was that Nathan and Isaiah are definitely people, although Tembo might be a lollipop.

That conversation has continued over the past month, as the wuggies earnestly attempt to define themselves verbally. There has been much talk about all the different sorts of people... men and ladies, boys and girls.

Isaiah is a man, and will not hear otherwise. When he neatly folds the towels for me, is he a helper? No, Wugger a man! As we march around the playground in a line, Wuggidy at the fore, is he the leader? NO! Wugger a MAN!"

Slowly but surely, however, he is starting to realize that manhood is consistent with other attributes. The other day he was soliloquizing about his identity... something he does quite frequently, actually.

"Wugger a man. Wugger a little man. No.... Wugger a BIG man. Tembo a girl. Tembo a girl like Mama. Wugger a man like Dadder."

He paused and thought for a minute.

"Dadder an OLD man."

On the cultivation of shameful virtues.

I have a confession to make.

I like American Idol.

And it gets even worse. I'm not even ashamed of it.

I'm becoming quite convinced that AI is a powerful force of cultural renovation. It's like a great big music appreciation class. We see the good, the bad, the ugly, occasionally even the truly great... and all the while Simon Cowell helps us to think clearly about what makes the difference.

Yeah, yeah, he's cruel... he's also right, mostly.

And the fact is, in a culture where beauty is in the eye of the beholder, where music is a "matter of taste," and taste is a matter of nothing at all, objective criticism is always going to come off as cruel.

We're (wrongly) ashamed of objective tastes, but American Idol doesn't flinch, and doesn't sugar-coat it. Instead, with its hilarious harshness, American Idol brazenly appeals to parts of our souls that shame us. Vices like the desire to enjoy the humiliation of others, but virtues, too, like the desire to listen to music objectively and well.

American Idol is far from perfect, but quite honestly, within this cultural climate, I'm hard pressed to think of a better way to cultivate such shameful virtues.... or how a culture might survive without them.

So right now the burning question in my mind is whether to root for Melinda or Lakisha.

That, and why on earth American preferred Sanjaya over AJ. It wasn't perfect by a long shot, but shaky spots aside, I thought his interpretation was an improvement on the original. Suble and dramatic, and oh-so-musical... definitely not in the same league as some of those girls, but overall one of the strongest performances of the guys.

But the more evidence we get of America's bad taste, the clearer it becomes just how badly we need something like American Idol.

So we can learn to choose well.

Practice makes perfect, right?

Works for Me Wednesday: Baking Soda

I don't know about you, but in our house we go through a LOT of laundry stain remover.

When you have little boys, they get their clothes extremely dirty, and they get your clothes extremely dirty. And when they have a little sister, they get her clothes dirty, too... not to mention teaching her to get her own clothes dirty, and contribute to the dirtiness of their clothes, and your own clothes. Sometimes we would go through a bottle of Zout in as little as two weeks. It's insanely expensive.

But recently we've discovered that we can use baking soda instead. If you buy it in the huge bags, it's dirt cheap, and it works just as well as the expensive toxic substances. In fact, baking soda has removed set in stains that nothing else would touch.

Of course stains just need Zout. And some stains just need OxyClean. But baking soda is now my stain remover of first resort.

The best thing about it is that since baking soda is non-toxic, the wuggies can help with the laundry. And toddlers LOVE helping with chores. A sense of purpose is such a deep-seated sou-need of children... of everybody, really. Toddlers are such naturally industrious creatures, and nurturing that sense of industry is one of our most important tasks as mothers, I think. It's so easy to relegate them to the sidelines of our existence, to occupy them with arbitrary, meaningless activities while we quickly get through our chores so that we can spend quality time with them, doing "fun stuff." But over and over, I keep finding that the best "quality time" is time spent doing chores together. And right now, they think that working hard is the most fun possible. Laziness is a learned behavior... and come to think of it, not one that I really want to teach.

Turning chores into a family affair? Works for me!

Hurry!

Rush on over to The Slow Lane just as fast as you can, and convince her not to invest in a bigger sock drawer.

No, my dear, your charming wit belongs right out here in the fresh air.

That's MRS. Mommy to you!

As I was changing Nathan's diaper, chattering affectionately at him, I called him "Mr. Meepo."

He liked that very much, and repeated several times, "I'm Mis-ter Meepo. I'm Mis-ter Meepo."

I then pointed to his brother. "That's Mr. Wuggidy."

"Mis-ter Wuggidy. Mis-ter Wuggidy."

He thought about it for a minute, then pointed to me.

"Mis-ter Mama! Mis-ter Mama!"

Update

I'm okay.



My toe does not appear to be broken, just badly bruised. I can walk now, and without too much discomfort. It's back down nearly to its normal size, and the garish color scheme has settled down to a tasteful mauve, with subtle lilac accents.



The kitchen is not nearly as bad as I'd envisioned... turns out it was only one saucepan and one 9x5 casserole that had fallen out of the cupboard. Could have fooled me. It sure felt like an avalanche.



And the flour and sugar that the wuggies used to occupy themselves while I was writhing in agony? It took about 5 minutes to clean up out of the sink.



After the repairman came to check out the leak.



Actually, the repairman came while I was looking for the dirty diaper Tembo had taken off somewhere.



I finally found it in the middle of the kitchen floor.



After the repairman had left.


So anyway, we're okay.


Badly humiliated, but okay.

Feels Like Sunday

I called up my Mommy to commiserate about my day, and while we were on the phone, she relayed my story to Daddy. I could hear him chuckling in the background, saying that it reminded him of the time when the tire on the motorhome blew out, and blew a hole in one of the storage compartments, strewing flip-flops and sneakers all over the road. The tire shrapnel also blew a hole in the sewage tank, leaving a mess of other proportions entirely.

Come to think of it, it's sort of like how Sunday morning was, too, when we were out of milk, and I ran to the store real quick, but as I pulled out of the driveway, I saw that the gas tank read quarter past empty, and I wasn't sure if I even had enough gas to get to the station across the street, but then I missed my turn, and decided that I'd rather do an illegal left turn than stall out in the middle of the road.

And after the kind police officer was done explaining to me where I should and should not turn left, I realized that I'd left my debit card at home. And when I pulled into our driveway, with $5.04 of gas in the tank, I remembered that I'd actually just put my card in a different compartment of my purse.

And then, when I was finally at Stater Brothers, I tried to pull a blueberry yogurt off the shelf, and in the process knocked over two boysenberry yogurts and a cherry vanilla yogurt, and one of the boysenberry yogurts exploded all over my foot.

I thought it was kinda strange that the sprinklers came on just as I pulled into the driveway, but I didn't have time to think about it much, because the milk was leaking all over the back seat.

And THEN, as I was bustling around trying to find a pitcher to salvage the milk, telling Andy what an eventful trip it was, instead of sympathizing, he finished my story for me.

"AND you ran into the sprinkler system."

Oh.

Oops.

I'd just finished explaining to Andy that, no, the exploding yogurt thing was entirely separate from the milk thing, when I found the mangled container of cherry-chocolate-mousse yogurt under the place where the milk had been.

That was my Sunday, and that's kinda how today feels, too.

Laughter does a world of good, though, and I feel a whole lot better after a good giggle with my Mommy.

I'm just still not sure how I'm going to take care of everything with a broken toe.

Let alone get all the pots and pans back in order.

Or excavate 5 lbs. of flour from the sink.

WFMW: Ditch the Windex!

Ever since his summer janitorial stint a few years back, Andy has mocked me for using Windex.

"The professionals just use rags and water."

Whatever.

Every self-respecting housewife is dependent upon Windex... right?

Well... maybe not. A wet rag gets everything up quickly (well... everything that Windex gets up, anyway) and a dry rag buffs the glass to a lovely streak-free shine. Better results, quicker, and with no nasty fumes.

Works for me!

Mystery can night just got a little more mysterious.

We're having chili tonight, and so I thought it might be a good opportunity to use up a couple of those label-less cans that every parent of toddlers has lying about.

I was pretty sure that this particular can contained either broth, black olives, stewed tomatoes, or green chiles, and that any one of those would make a splendid addition to my recipe.

I'm still pretty sure that it was one of those things.

And any one of those things would have been very nice.

Only problem is, having opened the can, I'm more confused than ever.

(And no, it did NOT go into the crock pot!)

Flute Impressions

Having just shared some impressively heinous flauteling (Can you believe I actually used to sound like that? Yikes!) I thought I should also point out what inspires and moves moves me, and gets me going in the morning.

This is sunlight streaming through the window, a gentle breeze setting life and greenness all aflutter, a mountain spring right here in my living room.

With a big tall glass of freshly squeezed orange juice to go with it all.

This is what the flute is all about.

Nina Assimakopoulos is probably my very favorite instrumentalist. Her technique is flawless, and I'm not sure how to describe her tone, except to say that it is alive. Now soft and tender, now rich and powerful, now soaring and brilliant, now playful and exotic... it constantly changes according to the spirit of the music she plays. I've never heard anyone else play Briccialdi's Carnival of Venice non-ironically, but Ms. Assimakopoulos enters fully into the playful spirit of the virtuoustic showpiece. As you listen all you can think about is the shimmering vitality, and it is only after the last note has died away that you realize just how impressive it all was. Whether it's Chopin or Debussy or Korsakov, or even something as simple as Amazing Grace, she draws out the full force of the music, so that the listener is sucked in and overpowered. But somehow, always, she holds her own.

This is how I want to live, and this is how her music inspires me to live, awake and alive, serene and tender and strong.

Right now is not usually.

Usually, they're just so easy to love.

Usually, they bring me so much joy and delight.

Usually Nathan isn't nonchalantly pouring out a cup of water at my feet as I sop a gallon of cranberry juice off my freshly mopped floor.

Usually I'm not desperately needing to get my chores done in time to run over to the office to notify the management of an extremely urgent leak that absolutely must get fixed before they close for the weekend. In about two hours.

Usually being their mother is a whole lot of fun.

Right now is not usually.

Impressive, but painful... but impressive nonetheless

This guy makes the most out of every bad flute habit I've ever overcome.

Shudder.

But still... wow.

Reason #4 why Blogger could be improved upon

It's all well and good for Brian to be hating on blogger. But I can't very well bite that hand that lets me blog.

And, well... the fact is, thenickfamily.com sure looks nice now.... but it took several years to get it there, and meanwhile, I was actually blogging. So I'm very grateful to google for bringing blogging to the lazy, html-illiterate masses who just plain love to write.

But! This switch over to the new blogger is not very smooth. Well it is for blog authors, actually, (although I did lose a lot of template customizations, and had to reinstall any outside html. But even that was okay, because it prompted me to switch from statcounter to sitemeter, which is actually a lot better.)

Anyway, I follow a perfectly massive quantity of sparsely updated blogs, so I'm quite dependent upon bloglines. But one by one, my subscriptions stop working as everybody switches over to the new blogger. Just the other day I finally got around to updating all my subscriptions... but now Christa has moved, too. Oy, vey. They make everything else so easy... why did they have to change the rss feeds on us? I like blogger because I'm lazy, remember? That's the whole point.

But even if google hadn't chosen to put us through such misery, I guess it really wouldn't have solved my problem entirely. Some people just keep moving all over the place.

I tell you. No sense of commitment.

If only it weren't so easy to just up and start a new blog.

My first attempt at patchwork

This was a LOT of fun to make.

WFMW: GT and the Halo Express

The wuggy-boys got a really wonderful birthday present from Aunt Sarah and Grandma and Grandpa Palmer.

A complete set of GT and the Halo Express.

Remember Psalty? Well, GT is pretty much like Psalty, only better. Instead of a singing hymnal that teaches the kids praise choruses, it's a "band of angels" that teaches Michael and Kristy scripture memory songs that help them deal with their grade-school problems. You know, a "band of angels" complete with drums and saxophones and guitars. And harps, because, well... you can't have angels without harps. The stories are full of little puns like that, which makes it fun for mom, too.

We've been listening to them pretty much non-stop. Well, okay, not quite non-stop... but a lot.

It's just a really good thing, on a lot of levels. The wuggies just love it. Even Tembo tugs at my sleeve, excitedly asking for "JeeTEE! JeeTEE!" And it really seems to be doing them good, developmentally. In our reading time, I've been very intentional about trying to wean them from images to stories, working toward more verbally driven picuture books, and illustrated storybooks.

The GT stories fit very nicely into this process. They're exciting and colorful... and totally non-visual. And sure enough, since we've started listening to GT, the wuggies have started to sit still and listen to stories, pictures or no pictures. Part of this is just the normal process of development, but I really do think that GT helped them to realize just how colorful and exciting stories could be.

And all the scripture flowing through the house! It's a really wonderful thing, and the music helps it to penetrate deep into the soul. It's good for the wuggies, and it's good for me, too.

As a musician, I'm really impressed with the songs. The music may not be genius, but it's solid, and exactly right. The melodies are perfectly suited to the texts, and are clearly the outgrowth of a deep understanding of the scriptures. Simple, singable, and meaningful... It's good stuff.

I have no idea why they aren't more popular, but they seem to be on the verge of out-of-print. They're only available here, and only in cassette tapes.

But they're totally worth scouring your local thrift shops for a cassette player, if need be. And maybe if enough of us do that, they'll start publishing them in less obsolete formats. =)

Scripture songs throughout the day? Works for me!

Important Milestone

September now blows her own nose.

Meepo's Cubist Phase

Nathan absolutely loves to sit at the computer and scribble on MS Paint.

The other day, he drew Tembo.

Apparently he thinks that his sister is two-faced.

Then he decided to add Isaiah into the picture. And a squiggle.




The young artist then began chanting "Itch! Itch! Itch!" and started scratching his itching siblings out with the eraser function.


All this scratching had the unfortunate result of a "broken eye," but with a few more strokes, he was able to transform the image into "clowns!"

And now, for the completed masterpiece:


Come to think of it, in the end it's more abstract expressionist.

From straight representation, to cubism, to his very own symbolic system, to abstract expressionism...

I guess it makes sense. Short attention spans and all that.

Inquisitive

Well Rested

I got four hours of sleep last night.

Four blissful uninterrupted hours on a comfy mattress.

I feel incredibly good. So energized I feel like I could conquer the world. Or maybe even get everyone to church on time.

I keep wondering what bliss it will be to sleep 8 hours straight on the new mattress.

A place of her own

Tembo loves her little "hidey-house."

And books.

And shoes.

Oh, yes.

Self-knowledge

Bosey was happily examining a fanciful colored pencil drawing of a beautiful creature, half girl, half zebra. The image resonated deeply with me, for that is how I always made sense out of my complicated bi-cultural identity. Stripes. And this zebra-child was so happy and free, reveling in her stripes... the image made me happy. So did hearing my little girl refer to an animal as something other than a doggy or a duck.

Tembo had a grand time, trying to figure out whether this was a "Bubba Deeda" or a "Mama Deeda." I guess when you have only brothers, you may or may not have a category that encompasses both "female" and "child," so you sort of have to decide which concept to retain. But whether this creature was a bubba or a mama, Nathan was quite convinced that in any case, it was more properly pronounced "Beza."

It was such a peaceful and happy moment, I was a bit surprised when Nathan announced "Tembo angry!"

"No, I don't think Tembo's angry. See how she's smiling? Tembo's happy. Are you angry, Meepo?"

"No... I not angry!"

"Are you happy?"

"I not happy!"

"Are you sad?"

"I not sad!"

"Are you jubilant?"

"I not jub-lant!"

Finally, though I hit it.

"Are you amused?"

His face lit up with blissful comprehension.

"I'm a-music-ed!"

It's a good feeling to know exactly how you feel.

Even if it's stripey and confusing and a little bit of everything.

Especially if it's stripey and confusing and a little bit of everything.

Addendum

My husband informs me that the video is extraordinarily dull without some background information.

No, I didn't edit in the spiffy sound effects. Mr. Wuggidy fell asleep while listening to G. T. and the Halo Express. He tried so hard to keep awake, and his little noggin kept slowly sinking down, then snapping back up suddenly, only to start sinking again. I got the camera running just in time to catch the very last nod, in perfect time to the music's final cadence.

=)

Of course all this would be much better as a caption to the previous post... but blogger is being cranky today.

Nodding Off

The Economy of Home

Life is very much uncertain and up-in-the-air right now. I did my one last Costco trip before our membership expired, and since I'd decided against renewing, I wanted to thoroughly stock up on the few things that are actually a good buy there.

But Andy reminded me that I shouldn't get a lot of honey, because one package would probably last us until we move.

June is only four months away, and we're moving June 2.

Where is a little less certain, but the minute Andy dismisses his last class, we're packing up for someplace where we can see the stars.

I was talking to a little neighbor boy the other day, a darling little five-year-old by the name of Orion. I misheard at first, and called him "Ryan," but he quickly and distainfully set me straight.
But I was back in good graces once I said it correctly. "Oh, Orion! Like the stars!"

He looked at me in awe. "You must be the same age as my mother! She knows about the stars, too!"

I miss Orion. And Cassiopeia, and the big and little bears, and the fathomless blur of the Milky Way... but mostly Orion. I've seen him once or twice out here, so I know he does come around, but always the mighty warrior looks so wan and sickly.

I need starlight, and want it badly, but probably not enough to leave. Inertia is a powerful thing, and moving is scary. But come June 2, we're through paying Southern California rent.

So right now, as we're figuring out how we want to structure our life, I found this excellent article especially thought-provoking. (It pays off to hang out at Amy's Humble Musings. Not only does she have good things to say, but she links good places, too!)

For more on the same topic, Nancy Pearcey has some really excellent things to say.

Happily Hatted

Prayer

The other night, I'm pretty sure Nathan said his first real prayer. Hard to say, I guess. He's blessed our meals a number of times, ("Thank you, Jesus. Amen"), but I'm not going to count that, because he's not so much interested in praying as in having the shortest prelude possible before diving into the grub. Our mealtime ritual is one of my favorite things about our family, but sometimes somebody is absolutely ravenous and would rather just say a quick prayer before getting to the food. And usually that somebody is Nathan.

-

But the other night, Nathan definitely actually prayed.

-

It was a night to teach us all to pray. Everybody was sick--draggy and lethargic and stuffy and coughing. Nathan and September napped most of the day, and Andy and I had such sweet, wonderful, precious time with Isaiah.

-

When we were ready to crash out for the night, though, Nathan woke up, bright-eyed and ready to face the day, rather oblivious to the fact that it was pitch black outside, and we were all ready to sleep. We let him cuddle up with us, admonished him sternly not to squirm to much, and hoped for the best.

-

Suddenly, September sat bolt upright, and began to bark, gasping frantically between the wrenching coughs.

-

Nathan giggled. "Funny sound!"

-

Andy gently told him that it wasn't funny, Tembo was very sick.

-

We turned on the shower, and sat with Tembo in the steam. She improved immediately, but the second we would try taking her out of the steamy bathroom, she would begin to bark and gasp again. So Andy moved the cabinet out of the bathroom, and squeezed the papazan in, and we all cuddled up and read together.

-

And we prayed. Oh, how we prayed.

-

"God. Lord Jesus, the Timmo. Amen."

-

Through the whole ordeal, Nathan was quietly alert, earnest, and compassionate. As we brainstormed about how we could get the air in the rest of the house moist enough to go back to bed and get some sleep, our little helper suggested a pot of water on the stove. Which is exactly what we did. I've always wondered why Anne-with-an-E told Diana to boil water when the baby had croup... now I know.

-

She was okay. Eventually we were able to go back to sleep, even.

-

She's okay. My baby's okay.

-

And somehow, terrifying as it was, that's one of those days I want to frame and treasure for the rest of my life.

Less talk, more pictures

I do dot like theb, Sab I ab. I do dot like greed eggs add hab.

I thigk I'll stick to Where's Waldo for dow.

At least I cad prodoudce that.

Of Genies and Sewing Machines, and Wisdom Calling in the Streets

Over the past few weeks I've been meditating on the Book of Proverbs. And sewing machines.

The Proverbs part has been good, and convicting, and unexpectedly comforting.

The sewing machine part has been just plain exhilirating.

I was trembling with excitement when Andy brought the old Merritt 4530 home from the thrift store. Which isn't terribly surprising. I'm a generally excitable sort of person, and any new creative outlet is bound to send me into ecstasy.

It really was surprising, though, that the whole project just got better and better. It took me a week of hard research to figure out how to work the machine, without benefit of an instruction manual, and when (with some gracious help from Marcy Koch) I finally figured out how to make it work... it didn't.

And I just got more and more excited. Or rather, my initial excitement slowly began to morph into something deeper and gladder. Really knowing a sewing machine on a deep level--even a broken one!-- turned out to be even better than I'd hoped making stuff would be.

After a quick search on google local I called up the Singer Sewing Center of Orange County, and Steve told me that he'd be glad to take a look, see if it was worth fixing.

It wasn't.

The shop was an adorable little mom-and-pop establishment. Apparently she quilts, he machine-embroiders, and they love what they do. It's a tiny place, and modest, but the massive discount fabric warehouse across the parking lot brings a flow of customers their way, and exceptional customer service brings them back again.

On my second trip out there, I became aware of praise choruses playing softly in the background, but I was already pretty sure that Steve was somebody who loves Jesus, just from the way he treated everybody. He was every bit as courteous to me as to the big time customers as to the homeless guy, and put the same effort into helping me find the right machine for my needs and budget as he did into helping the other ladies understand the deep and marvelous mysteries of a very fine $3,000 embroidery machine.

I ended up buying a basic Elna, not too many bells and whistles, but well-made and durable.

I decided a pair of pajamas would be a good first project. I desperately needed some warmer pjs, especially since we'd stopped heating the house at night, and it would be okay if they were a little bit clumsily done.

The elegant little machine worked like a dream, doing everything precisely as I chose. Which didn't make the pants fit exactly right... I hadn't quite gotten the hang of properly choosing where I really wanted that seam to be. But somehow even the mistakes gave me an euphoric sense of power. With this little machine, I can take some cloth and some thread and with relatively little effort, do pretty much anything I want to. All I have to do is learn how to want the right things.

This sense of empowerment has been leaking through to other areas of my life, and this beautifully sensible little device has been teaching me all sorts of widely-applicable life lessons.

But it wasn't until this morning that I realized how intertwined it all was with Proverbs.

I was reading to the wuggies, a silly Disney book in which Mickey, Goofy, and Donald play out the age-old theme of the wasted wishes. Be careful what you wish for, because it just might be exactly what you get.

It's the same theme as I've been noticing in Proverbs lately. Over and over the wise teacher exhorts us to love wisdom. It is wise to love wisdom! It is wise to love wisdom!

I always found that a tad confusing and redundant. I mean, of course it's true... just not terribly helpful. I would come wanting to hear something important about wisdom, and would feel a bit cheated by the repeated announcements that wisdom is wise.

This time around, it made sense, though, and the words were deeply comforting. Wisdom is calling out in streets, it's there for the taking. Just wanting to become wise is the first step, and if you do want to become wise, then you will. Knock and the door shall be opened unto you. Seek and you shall find.

You just have to learn to want the right things, that's all.

WFMW: grocery shopping with toddlers

My husband is amazing. He can single-handedly run a full grocery trip, managing three kids in as many carts. Okay, so he needs both hands, but the point is, he can do it. I can't. One gigantic stroller is about all my puny little muscles can handle, and I just don't have the stamina to keep the kids contained long enough for a full week's shopping.

The one thing the wunder-hubband cannot do is read a shopping list. Or maybe it's that I can't write one. We each have our own opinion on the matter, and frankly, the discussions just aren't that productive. But having him watch the wuggies while I do the shopping isn't terribly productive, either. Weekends are so much better spent together as a family, or letting one of us spend a few precious hours doing something other than wuggy-wrangling and housework.

Anyway, I've finally hit on a solution. Each week, I scour the various grocery mailers, and plan my menu around the week's loss leaders for each store. Then I do my shopping in bits an pieces, going to a different store each day. So maybe on Monday I'll go to Ralphs to buy meat, and on Tuesday I'll go to Farmer Boys for produce and eggs, and on Wednesday I'll go to Stater Brother's for general staples. Or whatever. I don't ever have to buy anything for more than the lowest advertised price, and better still, I don't ever have to buy more than will fit in my stroller. I never have to stay beyond the point where the wuggies get squirrely, and I have a great motivation to get out of the house more often. Which is important for everyone's sanity, but it's hard to do!

An unexpected benefit of this system has been less food waste. Food doesn't spend as long sitting in the fridge, and so I'm less likely to make silly mistakes like planning on the chicken breasts for supper 3 days after they expire. I can also adjust things as I go, according to how far the food stretches. Which can vary a lot, when you're feeding three toddlers, who eat like horses one day, robins the next.

Works for me!

...like a banana in the sky...

A strange installation proposed.

Walk softly and... oh, nevermind, just walk softly.

We are feeling highly motivated to teach Isaiah to differentiate between the sounds "st" and "d."

!!!

Flying

"Do you guys know what today is? Today is the day we pick up Aunt Sarah from the airport!"

"See airplanes?"

"And pilots. Airplane pilots."

"That's right. We'll get to see some airplanes."

"Aunt Sarah a pilot."

"No, Aunt Sarah's not a pilot, she's a passenger. She's just riding on the airplane."

"Aunt Sarah pilot."

"Before we go to the airport, though we're going to stop at the 99c store."

"Buy airplanes!"

"Well, actually we're going to buy balloons, since it's Aunt Sarah's birthday."

"Buy helicopters!"

"Dadders buy airplane!"

"No, Dadders ride on helicopter!"

"Ride on helicopter! Ride on helicopter!"

"Wugger ride on helicopter!"

"Meepo ride on helicopter!"

"Dadder buy helicopter!"

"Ride helicopter!"

Accidents will happen...

...but so will on-purpose-es, and that's what has me flumoxed. Everybody seems to be talking about potty training today, so I might as well join in and blog about my own woes.

We've had the potty chair out for quite some time, but we've been very low-key about it so far. But now, Nathan seems definitely ready to start training in earnest. Isaiah isn't really interested, which is probably a good thing... we'll take this one wuggy at a time.

We're planning on switching straight over from diapers to regular underwear on Saturday. We'll expect lots of accidents, and do a lot of laundry. We'll be very patient and loving, but Nathan will have lots of intrinsic motivation to stay clean and dry.

I can do this.

Anyway, over the past few days, I've been getting a head start by putting Nathan in big boy underwear for just a couple of hours. After he uses the bathroom, washes his hands, and gets a treat (Hurray for Nathan! A chocolate chip for everybody!) I offer him a big glass of water. I set the kitchen timer, and then we do the whole thing all over again in 20 minutes. It's been working well so far. We've only had one accident.

One accident, and one on-purpose.

Just a few moments before the timer went off, Nathan pulled down his pants, took aim, and carefully peed all over a favorite throw pillow.

I don't think I let my anger show. I just remarked how sad it was, and I guess he's just not quite ready for this, and put him in a diaper.

ButI'm pretty, um, shall we say... er...

No, we shan't say. I'll keep the blog clean--even if the blue pillow isn't.

Works for Me Wednesday: Celebrations

To bribe or not to bribe, that is the question.

External rewards can be powerful motivators, but they can also turn into fuel for brattyness, when the wuggies start demading them as rights, necessary conditions for good behavior.

So we've stopped rewarding good behavior. Instead, we celebrate. When one of the kids does the right thing even though he (or she!) really doesn't want to, everybody gets a special treat. When Isaiah quietly gets into his carseat even though he REALLY doesn't want to leave the park, we have a litty party when we get home. We clap and cheer and dance and talk about how happy we are for Isaiah's moral victory, and everybody gets stickers, or maybe even a new car. (Won't be so feasible at 16, but at age 3, we can do this!)

Somehow this shifts the focus to a more free and grace-filled understanding of righteousness. We don't obey so that we can get treats, we obey because it is good, and the treats are a really useful reminder of that.

As for the treats themselves, we really love Speed Wheels. They're pretty much like Matchbox or Hot Wheels, only half as expensive, and of much higher quality. They actually have contracts with the various auto manufacturers, and the detail is really impressive. Especially for 50 cents. =)

Works for me!

Clean Humor

We were having sloppy joes for dinner, which I thought was a very kid-friendly meal indeed. Simple and yummy, if a bit of mess... slap big bibs on all the wuggies, and everyone's happy, right?

Well, everyone except Isaiah, who hates to try anything new.

He liked it in the end, once he'd actually taken that first bite. But for the first half of the meal, he chanted his protest continuously.

"No sloppy jokes! No sloppy jokes! No sloppy jokes!"

Improvement

The other day, as we were tidying up the living room, Andy remarked that we seem to be running a home for battered children's books.

It's true. Babar is in bad shape, and Thomas looks like a train wreck survivor.

We try. But the wuggies have a very intense relationship with books. Usually things are amicable, but whenever there's a tussle 'twixt tome and tyke, the wuggy wins.

All this is very frustrating, and deeply rankles our bibliophilic souls.

Today, as I was reading Isaiah his pre-nap book of choice, I was horrified to realize that the last two pages, two very crucial pages, had been ruthlessly torn out.

But on second thought, it really does seem to be an improvement.

Before I explain, I should probably warn you that there will be spoilers ahead. So if you would like to keep the ending a surprise, stop reading here. However, I do think that fretting too much about "spoilers" seems rather pointless in this particular genre. No matter how many children's books you may have, you will always end up reading one of them over and over and over, 20 times a day. All you can do is hope that it's something like this, and not something like this. All things considered, I'd say we got pretty lucky.

Anyway, in this wonderful gem of a book, George is a dog, and his mother wants to hear him bark. But instead of saying "arf," as all good dogs must, George meows. On the second try, he quacks, and then he oinks. When finally he actually starts mooing, his very distraught mommy takes him straight into the vet. Who, of course, dons his rubber gloves, reaches down George's throat, and pulls out an assortment of very dazed looking animals. Finally, once the cow is out of him, George barks beautifully, and there was much rejoicing.

I've often thought that it would be a delightful little book if it just ended right there. Now that our copy actually does, I can't say that I'm too terribly disappointed. Do we really need to know that on the way home, walking a long the crowded street, George said "hello"? I think not.

But don't tell the wuggies I said so.

Wouldn't want to give them the idea that sort of thing's condoned around here.

If there IS anything cuter...

...then it's definitely a strapping young man, aged 3, helping his father change the spark plugs, industriously applying the wrench to various portions of the engine.

Yup.

Vroom!

There may very well be cuter things than a tiny little girl-child curled up in her daddy's lap, making motorcycle noises.

There may be cuter things, but I'm not sure what they are.